shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
