And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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