I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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