In the future we'll all be gay
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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