I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
