She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
