All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
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She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
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Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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