i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
