Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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