Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
