So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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