My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
