WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
