You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
