I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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