I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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