You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
