Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
