Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
