HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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