I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
