She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
