I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize