Already got asked if we're dating
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
