i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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