maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
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Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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