I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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