Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
