That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
