So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
