my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize