i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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