Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize