words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
