fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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