I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
