I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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