i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I want her autograph on my taint
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
