She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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