I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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