oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
