Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
