so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
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Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
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I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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