If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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