Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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