i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
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