Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
