oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Houston, we have a squirter
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
