Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You were trust falling into bushes
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
