For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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