im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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