my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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