I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
