i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
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He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize