He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
