living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
