coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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