you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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