Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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