You made me cry and you don't even care
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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