dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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