I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
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Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I deserve this hangover.
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