don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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