My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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