i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
