I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
