yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
