your parents love me but you hate me
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
